I was not rational when i decided to marry him.


a time for a new post? banana yes!
so my conflict for today is, "i was not rational"

what made me make the decision of getting married this early?
still about marriage? yeah i know.
to be honest, my heart slowly changes,
i'm fonder of him nowadays.
i guess i'm slowly accepting the fact that im soon to be tied to this guy.

but honestly, frankly speaking.
its impossible!
well, i'm gonna be a 3rd going to 4th year medical student when im married
and he's gonna be a full time h/o
and i heard, now that they're using shift system, its hard to even see the h/os at home.
so imagine when i have my 2 months plus break from the whole year,
what if i cant even see his face for at least an hour at home?
see, how impossible can this marriage be!

and being far means that i'd have to ask for his permission to postpone my duties as a wife.
i should be there as his cook, his ear, his shoulder, his place to end the day at, etc. but i wont.
how will that make me look as a wife? how will that make him feel as a husband?

but i know when you have that someone you want as your partner, marry him/her.
and i'm doing just that,
i just hope Allah ease our path in building a healthy family.


  1. Dont doubt. Kalau kita mahu semuanya akan as the english people say " fall into place " InsyaAllah. Allah akan permudahkan perjalanan kalau kita berusaha :)

  2. dont worry my dear. insyaAllah Allah akan permudahkan everything. i doakan you :)

  3. anonymous : i shouldnt doubt? but im just scared i cant be the dutiful wife i dream to be. i can just pray for the best

    mya : thank you sayang :)

  4. Yes, dont doubt. you can ponder about the future possibilities (yes). find solutions to the problems (definite,yes) but dont doubt. you still can be and will be a good wife :)talk about it with him.