marriage is scary, nuff said.


honestly speaking, a few days before this, rasa excited.
of course, who wouldnt be right?
but nowadays, the fear haunts me.
what if i cant be a good wife?
i'm lazy and everyone knows that. even now, bangun pagi selesaikan apa yang patut, then straight back to bed. bangun dah nak zohor.
and how will i be a wife like that?

cooking, well, maybe many people say that im a good cook.
but honestly, berterabur kot.
cant even cook without messing the whole kitchen.
i'm not even constant at cooking, sekejap sedap sekejap tak.

and feelings,
i'm not really the person you would call "matured"
its not that im doubting him, but im doubting myself.
am i ready?
is my heart ready?
all this while i've been preparing myself with istikharah and hajat prayers.
why are these thoughts popping out now?


  1. honestly said dear, all this feeling will pop up right after engagement, and that isss soooooo normal..

    heheh..thats why people say, 'tunang banyak dogaan".. and this feeling will come again the day near the wedding me...just believe that God say 'kunfayakun'...

  2. u'll make a good wife i'm sure. hehe i'm messy as well, definitely not wifey material but messy people get hitched too! there is hope for us! haha. i'm sure your soon-to-be husband will accept you for who you are.

  3. cindir-rela : thank you, insyaAllah :)

    lisa : awh :') i hope he will, kan? there's still hope. plus, i'm sure im gonna be a tad bit more matured than i am currently by then :)