hi, im mustering my courage to write to all of you this,
i really really want to change, to be a better muslim.
i know, but i cant.
i did change, physically, but never mentally and emotionally.
honestly, im sick of pretending.

and honestly, i still want to change, wanting to be a better me.
i want to keep going to usrah, to tafaqquh, but without the hypocrisy this time,
please, understand what im going thru?


  1. Put your trust in Allah, HE will guide you.
    semakin kita nak dekat dgn Allah, semakin byk Ujiannya.. just dont stop trying... InsyaAllah.

  2. be strong hajar, yang luar tu senang untuk dihijabkan yang dalam tu take time. Teruskan pergi usrah, teruskan dekati mereka yang u know better in this agama. Sbb kita percaya, kalau kita dekati mereka yang baik2, kita pasti akan dapat kebaikan mereka juga sikit :)

    p:s i dun know if this proper, but jujur i love u as sesama saudara muslimah & for that hajar plis jgn guna gmbr u free hair lagi. Simpan for the right one. He deserve to see it berbanding others guys. :) sorry after all.