Assalamualaikum,
for whatever you've done in the past,
please know that you are your own reason of your mistakes.
if you were to "change"
you should be saying, oh "ive sinned"
instead of, "dont be sad over someone who cant take you to jannah" or some rubbish.
for whatever you did back in those days,
no one wants to know.
and if you were to repent, you dont, i repeat,
never! to put the blame on anybody else but yourself!
example lah kan,
you had a boyfriend, you had sex with him.
dont blame him, he did not rape you, you gave yourself in.
blame yourself.
so my point here is that, stop trying to "prove" to the world of the innocence of yourself by putting whoever in your past as the spotlight,
change your own fate!
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